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Lean On Me

There is innate love, the kind of love that we are inborn with. I like to call it more instinctual love. The love that God created in all of us to love our daughters, sons, mothers and fathers. We don’t really choose to start loving them; it is just instinctive inside of us and the years help this love grow. However, there’s another kind of love that I like to call the chosen love. This category unlike our family is different because you actually get to consciously cherry-pick them to be part of your story. Our friends fall into that group of the chosen ones! Most of the time it all starts with an “Oh my God you like to do that too? I thought I was the only crazy one!”  which is called familiarity. And that’s where the known saying of birds of a feather flock together comes from. You relate to these people so suddenly and so instantly that you might feel you’ve known them in another world. Your souls connect in a way that is indescribable. You know those people where you can just be yourself around and spill your heart out to without having to sugar coat or beautify, because they will listen with no judgment and support like there’s no tomorrow. They don’t have to be plentiful and they don’t have to be a “they”! It could be only one person, but a true friend is a jewel that is worth keeping and cherishing.

Many studies were made and it was proven that human beings thrive and flourish more in packs, just like wolves! Back in the day, at the beginning of human creation, Adam was not created without Eve serving that very concept of companionship that humanity cannot thrive without it. Together they create a synergetic life and weave in each other’s stories to make a masterpiece of a picture in the end. Look at your life and your accomplishments, you will always find a friend that was a part of it. Weather it was “I know you can do it” or it was “lets brainstorm together” or even a silent gaze at your lips singing that story of your weary day; your friend was there. Those friends that make it easy for you to swallow your pride and talk about those dark secrets and luring thoughts in your contemplating mind. The people that stain your soul with love and companionship.

I am writing this for several reasons I find important for us to think about. The best of these friends are the friends that help us do good not only “feel” good. The kind of people that have pure hearts and you being in their circle or their company brings out the best in you! You know that kind of friend that when walks in a room, you remember goodness. You are reminded of the positive in the world; you are reminded of doing and being good. I am not saying they don’t have hardships. I mean who doesn’t? Yet, they have an aura full of hopeful energy that penetrates everyone around them.  Those who have broken glasses as well but can still take your hand and show you the positive that can be and happen in your life, still. Those people that God sent to us as gifts in our life to make life worthwhile.

 

But wait a second? We are talking about the friends you have. I am sure several faces popped up while reading this. Have you ever asked yourself “What kind of friend am I?” Simply, am I a good friend? Am I investing in myself in being that kind of friend to others in my life? It’s not only important to have a good friend but it is equally important to be a good friend.

It was narrated by Abdullah bin ‘Amr that the messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: “The companion who is the best to Allah is the one who is best to his companion. And the neighbor that is the best to Allah is the one that is best to his neighbor.”

The significance of friendship hasn’t only been around recently, yet even in the days of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) his friends were a massive part of his life. They would support each other through thick and thin, depend on each other and also have their fair share of fun!

Are we occupying ourselves of having good friends rather than being a good friend? Are we really investing enough quality in our relationships, and really making a difference in someone’s life, even in the simplest ways, nothing too time consuming or fancy;  or are we self-consumed? Self-consumed with work, careers, and all what is between. Just an innocent question that will provoke some thought.

 

So like the power rangers, each friend has their own distinctive quality and effect in your life. Diversity is needed and they help complete the puzzle! So the more difference the merrier! Check this out.

North-Southern Friend:

You know that friend that you feel that if you were on the North Pole, they will most likely be on the South? You are very different, yet you are attracted to each other in a way you both don’t understand sometimes. The opposites attract concept friend. These kinds of friends that really bring you out of your comfort zone and help you grow and have diverse exposure to different thoughts, activities and ideas. They stretch your mind because they are so different than you; they almost push you out of your bubble. It is always good to have that kind of a friend sometime in your life; you will learn and discover diversity, acceptance and new horizons.

The Black Mirror:

Those brutally honest friends that will compassionately challenge you! They will tell you when you’re going wrong and let you know when your jeans are getting tighter! Be aware because they will let you know when you are being too dramatic, or selling yourself too short.  Those friends are a diamond to find because they will help you become less delusional when you think it is all good and dandy and no work needs to be done. They will project your weak points and help you get where you need.  They will not pamper you to spoil or ridicule; they will compassionately challenge you to become a better version of you!

 

The Green Hulk:

The activists! The healthy life style friends. The ones who crave to always learn and improve, whether it’s their health, their relationships, or their spirituality. They aren’t lazy and don’t settle. These vibrant creatures would be great friends because they will always have something up their sleeves. Always wanting to learn something new, and grow. No, they don’t need to be those “perfect” images we think a green friend would be. All muscular, fit and beautiful! Always happy. Those are on magazine covers only J  I’m talking more about their motives and drive to become better, even if it is a slower steadier pace, but they have chest room for growth.

The “Brotha from anotha Motha!” :

Those are your soul mates. Your best friends. The sibling that your parents did not bear but your bond is far stronger than kinship or blood connection. The ones whose silence together is a chant! Saying nothing says a lot! And if you are in opposite ends of the world your souls talk in the middle of the day, or when you see something you’d be like, “Ha! She’d love that!” Or hear a joke and start laughing and text her so quickly that you know no one else would understand but her. Those are the friends that are engraved in your heart, and life without them is lifeless.

So to all you friends out there, remember today to tell your friends, how much you love them and how much they mean to you and how your life wouldn’t be the same without them. Let them know how special they are and how they have contributed to whom you are today. Always convey the heartfelt love you have to them before it is ever too late, because those kinds words are a deed that can make someone’s day or even life. Those appreciating gestures are the tokens we give our friends to show them how much they mean to us. And always remember to BE a friend you want to have. Like the 80’s Michael Bolton once sang, “Lean on me when you’re not strong I’ll be your friend, I’ll help you carry on—for, it won’t be long till’ I’m gonna need, somebody to lean on.”



Dina Helmy

About

Graduated from the American University in Cairo (AUC) with a Bachelor degree in Marketing and Psychology.A certified Positive Discipline Facilitator from Positive Discipline concepts by Jane Nelson, USA. Has held many workshops and worked in affiliation with well-known Magazine and office of Mother and Child. A life coach and certified as an Associate Certified Meta Coach from the International Society of Neurosemantics, USA. My coaching style is compassionately challenging. My areas of expertise are family, relationship and self-actualization coaching. My mission in life is to help as many people that I can in a beneficial way that they do not depend on me, rather they have the tools and strategies to lead a happy healthy life.


'Lean On Me' have 8 comments

  1. May 11, 2015 @ 6:57 pm Heba Moussa

    Wonderful read! Coming from someone like you is even more special– Dina you are truly one of those friends that being with is a blessing! You will always manage to make me crack up and relate to every single detail in my life! I hope you don’t mind me being personal here but you are the Black Mirror that makes it crystal clear in the end :)

    Reply

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