…please help me guys!
As I was scrolling down my Facebook feed, these words caught my eye. Obviously, I was prompted to check out the page, turned out to be another one of those cowardly “confession” pages. I always wondered how pathetic these people are. If you really want to find the girl that bad, and if you really like her, why would you defame her like that?
The inconsistent beeping of my phone startled me and I scrambled off my bed to answer my phone before the sound woke my sister up. It was Aisha, my best friend.
“AssalamuAlaikum, how are you babe?”
“WalaikumuSalam. I’m good Alhamdulillah. Why didn’t you come to school today?”
“Well, you know how mom and dad are. They were fighting again.” Aisha said.
I knew that her parents were always quarreling and I knew how much it had an impact Aisha. Naturally, it was weird for me to discuss about her parent’s problems, so I changed the topic. I was in the mid of telling her about the homework and assignments, when she said;
“You know, I really envy you sometimes.”
“Why?”
“You have such a happy family, your parents are always there for you and they don’t squabble over insignificant things, MashaAllah.”
“Well, things aren’t always as they seem.” I said.
Aisha laughed and said, “Come now, don’t quote Aladdin. Anyway, I’ve got some things to do. I’ll talk to you later, yea?
“Bye!”
I thought about what Aisha said. Yes, Alhamdulillah, my family wasn’t the quarrelsome kind. My parents never had a tiff and even if they did, they wouldn’t argue with me and my sister in the vicinity. But of course, we had our own shortcomings and complications.
Since, it was the last year of school and we were approaching the last few weeks before our graduation, everyone around me was talking about college and how they couldn’t wait to apply to universities abroad. Universities cost a lot of money and I knew that my family would never be able to afford it. It broke my heart to see my classmates, who weren’t even very good students to begin with, talk about the top universities. It was deeply saddening that they could afford to get a better education than me, just because they came from families that earned more than my family. Nevertheless, I was happy that at least I was able to go to a college, many people don’t even get that.
As I was walking towards my next class, I ran into Maryam. Maryam was the most popular girl in school. She was everything that I was not and everything that I aspired for. She was skinny, beautiful, and popular. To make matters worse, she came from a rich family and always had the prettiest and trendiest clothes. I always resented her for that. She and her cronies always made fun of me. It’s not like I didn’t want to lose weight. I just…couldn’t.
I pulled my hijab closer to my face, as I walked past her. Sometimes, I wished that I could just disappear. I always had clothes that weren’t trendy. I usually got my elder sister’s hand me downs. I knew that my parents could not afford to get me clothes from ZARA or whatever and I never pestered them for this. My parents worked really hard to provide for me and my sister.
I reached my class and saw that the teacher had already entered the class, I knocked on the door, “May I come in, madam?”
“Oh! Look who it is. Miss Fatima actually decided to show up after the physical education class. I heard your class ran a marathon today, I thought you were probably at the infirmary.”
“No madam, Alhamdulillah I’m fine, why would I go to the infirmary?”
She chuckled and said, “Well, I thought your heart must have given out.”
The entire class started snickering. It was something that I always got for my classmates but never from a teacher. I hid my tears and walked to my bench. I slid down my seat as far as I could.
I went home and did some thinking about myself. It really hurt me to see people make fun of me. As I was scrolling down my Facebook news feed, I came across a confession;
“So there’s this extremely fat girl who wears clothes that should be burned. She’s so ugly and fat that she should just kill herself. It hurts my eyes to even look at her. She’s so fat that she spills out of the chair in class. During the lunch-time she eats about half a gallon of fruits. Girl, eating fruits will help you lose weight but not if you eat all the fruits in the world, AT ONE GO. Kill yourself please.”
I saw this and tears slid down my cheeks. I couldn’t handle it anymore. Why would anyone do something as mean as this? I mean, my size is my business. Why should anyone care? I should just ignore it. That’s the best way to get along with this kind of stuff, take it as a joke. I was telling myself all of this but I knew it wasn’t having any effect on me.
That night, I asked my family at the dinner table, “Am I really ugly and fat?”
“What? No, my dear. Why would you even think of something like this?”
“Bah! What do you know? You’re my mother, you’ll always think I am better than anyone else.”
I stormed off to my room, my elder sister followed me in and said, “What’s wrong? Why are you asking such stupid questions?”
“Well, I don’t want to talk about it.” I said, burying my face in the pillow.
My sister took the pillow away and said, “Stop being a drama-queen and just tell me.”
I couldn’t get myself to tell her anything. I just…couldn’t. I hugged her and went to sleep. The next day was a holiday. So as you would expect I woke up late and lazed around on the bed, going through my Facebook feed and WhatsApp messages when suddenly my phone rang, it was Aisha.
“AssalamuAlaikum, did you see the new confession?”
“Is that all you care about, Aisha? Like seriously?!” I said angrily.
“Just check it out please. I think you will be happy when you see it.”
“Bah! Okay wait.”
“OH MY GOD! What in the world…” I stammered.
To be continued…
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